Wednesday, 9 April 2014

REVIEW: Lime Crime Velvetine in SALEM


So Love Make Up were total winners with my order of the new Lime Crime Goth-a-tines. I got them within two days, no problems. Thank you love make up!

I bought all of them, but in the interests of being thorough, I am first reviewing SALEM.

Now, I mostly get a bit irritated by the whole obsession with the 90's. Having been a teenager in them, and been a big part of the club scene and music world, the revisionist history of what it was actually like is pretty irritating. Also, come on, lets actually create our own scene please! What are people going to remember the 2000's for, the fact that we created EFF ALL.


Still, enough of that. It's basically a spot on medium dark, cool brown, straight out of a George Michael video from 1992, probably on Linda Evangelista. It's great. I love it. I probably love it because I am super pale, and basically, I now am wearing the EXACT make up I wore as a teenager. Therefore i'm good at it, because it's my second time around. 

Here's some pictures. 

Lime Crime Velvetine in Salem

Salem swatched

Wear time, it's pretty great, but as always, it depends on what you're doing in it. If you're eating, drinking and kissing, it's going to spread all over you like nutella, or you could have a situation similar to this...

Now, to help this situation you're best off filling your lips with liner, which is something I always always do unless i'm not bothered about keeping my make up in place, which is never. I personally use Sleek Eau La La liner in Cocoa which is waterproof and smudgeproof, so it'll help your cause immensely. Then just apply straight from the tube and go feel like a 90's princess! 

I love it. I LOVE IT. I also have Wicked and Black Velvet which I will be reviewing soon!

Yay. Etc.

Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Lime Crime The Clueless Witch Goth-a-tines are NOW AVAILABLE

Just a quick note - I shall be updating soon btw, I have all sorts of stuff that I need to ramble on about cosmetics wise, including the new Estee Lauder BB Cream, the new Eve Lom minerable and liquid foundations and Hourglass tinted moisturiser. Also I have the Urban Decay liners, and electric palette. HARD. CORE. 

However, here's todays piece of awesome. Lime Crime Clueless Witch Velvetines are available NOW from Love Make Up for £13.50 each. GET THEM HERE BEFORE THEY SELL OUT.

I received mine today, and I have to say, these are HARDCORE and authentic 90's shades, or the black, which is the most perfect black lipstick I own....and I own about twenty. So matte. 

Exciting! Wooosh! 

Monday, 31 March 2014

REVIEW AND WARNING: Quick Fix Facials Calming Clay Mask by X10 Facials

X10 Facials - Quick Fix Facials - Calming Clay Mask

ROLL OUT THE BARRELL! I have found, without doubt, one of the most TERRIBLE products I have ever, ever had the misfortune to use. I have bought bad products before, sure, but never before have I bought a product thats results are so terrible, so opposite to the claims, that I have considered sending a card of condolences for the companies future, because if any more of their products are this bad, they are going D O W N.

So I found this in boots. I remembered all the bells and whistles when this brand was launched, and looked around for them, because it seemed to be raves. Now, I am totally aware of how PR works, and I am also aware of how many bloggers don't even USE their products, they just rave on and on about ruddy everything because they want lots of free stuff to sell on e bay. I get nothing free, I don't court any freeness, I don't kiss any arse, and that feature of my personality hasn't helped me too much in life, but i'm not changing. I like honesty in general. 

So this mask offended me big time. I have skin that is prone to redness, and I wouldn't say it's ultra sensitive, but if I exercise, or get a bit hot, I go red like a beacon of anger. It's rubbish. I hate it. So when I found this, specifically for my issues, I was rather chuffed, and as I had a gig with many photographers, I thought i'd give it a little go before my night of having to look passable. 


I popped it on as directed, smoothed a layer on and left it for five minutes. It didn't feel too bad during being on, but after five minutes I felt like I wanted to remove it, and thank goodness I did, because the result was HORRIBLE. My skin was red raw, hot, angry, and extremely painful. On top of this, I felt headachey and sick, as the heat from my skin and the redness was so intense it made me feel quite awful. The only bits of my face that weren't bright red were the bits I didn't apply the mask too, and the difference was marked by a clearly defined line of non irritated skin. 

It took TWO DAYS for the misery to stop. The redness was unbearable.

Now, you might just say 'you were allergic clearly'. Well....i'd agree, if it wasn't for a quick search on the internet for reviews, first stop was the boots website for a smattering of one star reviews.

Here's a few excerpts....

"PLEASE DO NOT BUY THIS IF YOU HAVE DRY OR SENSITIVE SKIN. I saw this online and thought it looked great. I brought it and used it on the first day. After a minute of being on my skin it started burning to the point I had to wash it off. I now have an even more red face. Not a good product. "

"I got this based on its claim that it soothes sensitive, red skin. It did completely the opposite, just as per the other reviews. You're meant to leave it on for between 5-10 minutes. I lasted 2, maybe, before having to get it off my face as it was stinging, burning and making my face feel extremely tight. Once I had taken it all off my husband was shocked, it looked like I'd burnt my face, or as though I was wearing a bright red mask. My skin felt smooth to the touch, but that may have been more to do with the scrubbing I did to get this off my face. I looked like a beetroot all evening and my face stung whenever I touched it. Would NOT recommend this whatsoever to anyone."

"This face mask is a terrible product which boots should stop selling. I have experienced the same reaction as all of the other commenters - red, burning skin after only 10 minutes with this mask on. I feel like I should get my money back (and buckets of complimentary aloe vera soothing moisturiser which is what it's taken to get my face back to a normal colour!)"

Every single review is bad. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

I have tried to complain to the company but there is no web presence of them AT ALL. Everything about it stinks and I cannot warn you enough. NEVER USE THIS.

If you do like being in pain, find the mask for mask here at boots for £3.33

Thursday, 13 March 2014

REVIEW (and first impressions) : Make Up Atelier HD Foundation

So, anyone that knows anything about me (that would be NONE of you, because no one actually knows who I am) would know that I love Goss make up artist. I LOVE HIM. I used to obsessively watch the Pixiwoo videos, but as they got more commercial and less exciting (although Sam never fails to excite me with her creative tutorials) I found myself running to the joys of Goss, and his wry humour, coupled with social anxiety, makes him the more adorably addictive of the you tube make up vloggers. When he said he'd found 'the best foundation ever made' I knew I had to eventually check it out.

So, first steps first, given that there are no Make Up Atelier Paris stockists in england, so therefore no way of checking colours, I found the fantastic and budget friendly option on their website of being sent sample jars in various colours, which subsequently is deducted from the price of the foundation you eventually decide on. Needlessly generous no? So I dived in and received this....

And for a sample that is just to check colour, it's pretty generous! I chose the shade Pale Beige, but there is a massive range of shades from pale yellow to deep brown, so there should be something for everyone. 

So what do Make Up Atelier Paris have to say about this foundation??

A new generation of invisible makeup developed for HD for a natural skin finish.  A fluid foundation with silicone resin film and micronized pigments.  The makeup is versatile from sheer to full coverage whilst appearing invisible on the skin.  Sweatproof and water resistant suitable for young or mature skin that is dry, normal and combination.  Apply with a brush, sponge or airbrush. 

So that sounds pretty much a catch all bit of promo doesn't it? Could it possibly be true?

Well. Yeah!

So last night I was dj'ing, with a streaming cold, in extremes of temperature surrounded by smoke. I needed a foundation that was going to last through sweat, cold and potential rain on the way there. The second I put this on my face, I WAS SOLD.

Sorry for blurry photos, I just.....couldn't be bothered. Ha. You get the idea though right??

So back to the review. What are the points and features of this foundation that makes me wee with joy!?

Coverage: This covers, somehow, despite being airy light, and it covers VERY WELL. If you need extra coverage, it's supremely buildable, and it doesn't change the texture or finish at all. This won't cake, or enhance pores, or dry spots. My redness was covered easily and totally. There wasn't one thing I could complain about.

Longevity: It lasts until you want it off. Okay, it couldn't stand up below my nose which was being constantly blown and wiped all night, but I wouldn't expect anything to, apart from double wear, and we all know that double wear, although bulletproof, gives a mask like deathly finish and looks bad in photos. I even splashed my face with water and this stuff didn't budge AN INCH. I cannot tell you how awesome it is. Well, I can, but still, AWESOME!!

Finish: Like great skin. Not dewy, but not matte, just naturally luminous and beautiful. It's really the most natural foundation i've ever used, it's amazing. 

Pale beige swatched and rubbed in. 

I can't recommend this enough. I own ALL FOUNDATIONS EVER, but this, this is a gem. The nearest I could liken it to would be MUFE Face and Body, but this actually covers ten times better, and lasts much longer. It's amazing.

You can purchase Make Up Atelier Paris HD Foundation for £21 at their webstore - HERE

Saturday, 22 February 2014

REVIEW: Rimmel Stay Blushed - Pop of Pink and Sunkissed Cherry

I've been really bad at updating haven't I? I have good reasons, other than sheer unadulterated laziness and desire to eat as much cake as possible to soothe my broken heart. Here's a tip, cake doesn't actually fix your heart, but it does mean that those PVC trousers you purchased mid breakdown one day make you look like a zeppelin strapped into a bin bag two sizes smaller than your thighs. Good lord.

Anyway, i'm here, Its saturday night, and i'm licking my friday night hedonism wounds in front of the tv with Bridesmaids on the tv to cheer me up. And why not?

Rimmel Stay Blushed in Pop of Pink and Sunkissed Cherry

What does Rimmel say then?

"Perfect for any occasion: the blush blends instantly and seamlessly to create a long lasting, natural-looking flush of colour that lasts up to 24 hours.
Ultra lightweight, won’t feel heavy.
Lasts all day."

I have many liquid, creme and gel type blushers in my collection. Maybe all of them, except the By Terry one that I CANNOT EVER IMAGINE BEING ABLE TO AFFORD. One thing that I tend to get annoyed by is that I put a lovely flush of colour on my cheeks, and within three hours it's all gone and its hateful to me, for I am nothing without blush. The idea that this lasts 24 hours is something i'm a big fan of, but I feared the Benefit Benetint effect, you know, the streaks you get with a liquidy formula that only give you seconds to blend. So what did I think?

First. Le pictures.

Pop of Pink and Sunkissed Cherry

Pop of Pink and Sunkissed Cherry blended out. 

So as you can see, the streaking issue is absolutely not a problem. I used my fingers to blend the arm swatch, but I use a stippling brush to blend the colour onto my cheekbones and it creates a lovely flush of colour, with a glow. On top of this, it lasts absolutely all day, applies really easily and I seriously cannot fault it. I highly recommend you pick these up, I just hope that they expand the colour range to more than two shades! 

Pick this up for £4.99 from Boots and £4.49 from Superdrug. It's great! 

Monday, 10 February 2014

REVIEW: Bourjois Paris 123 Perfect CC Cream and Eye Cream

Hi there. I know, more excuses about being a lazy blogger, but i'm still in the process of being heartbroken and maudlin, and although make up is my tincture, sometimes, a skin coloured liquid that I put on my face just isn't going to cut it in the 'making life worth living' stakes.

Still, I shall battle on. So here I am, with a ravey review for my ravishing readers.

Bourjois 123 Perfect CC Cream

When I first read about this CC Cream, I wasn't too fussed. I was BB'd up to the tits, and frankly, apart from Dr Jart's wonderful colour adapting concoction, they did less than nothing for me. Actually, there was also that brilliant one by Sleek which became my dry skinned gf's holy grail foundation, with it's super cheap price, brilliant colour line and near full coverage and dewy finish. Perhaps I should bother actually reviewing it no?


Anyways, this CC cream. What's it all about? Bourjois says this...


The next generation of foundation! Combining:


Thanks to its 3 colour correcting pigments that smooth away imperfections

. APRICOT pigments > anti-fatigue

. GREEN pigments > anti-redness

. WHITE pigments > anti-dark spots


24 hr hydration
SPF 15

Result: luminous complexion & flawless skin in one step.

Tested for you!*

91% of women agreed that:
Their complexion is perfectly evened out
Their dark spots are concealer
Their skin is left flawless

*User test on 33 women for 21 days
And what’s more? Good for my skin!
-Non-oily lightweight formula
- Enriched with invigorating white tea extracts

Now, can I just point out one thing. WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE STATS FOR? When I read 91 percent of women agree, I think 'BRILLO' but then I read it's 91 percent of THIRTY THREE WOMEN, I think, eh? Now, Bourjois aren't a poor company, they can afford to send their CC Cream out to more than the odd number of 33 women, so why don't they bother? It doesn't feel too convincing does it?

Either way, back to the CC.

So what do I think of it? Well, I am an oily skinned girl, and my main concern with these new generation of skincare/foundation hybrids, is that they're slip off very quickly and be TOO dewy from my shiny fat nose. However, this CC Cream is different from anything like it i've tried before. This is why.

Coverage - It really does correct your skin tone, and it brightens. You can use a tiny amount of this very liquidy consistency product, and apply with either your fingers, or a flat top foundation brush, and it covers like a dream, whilst letting my freckles be seen, and the texture of my skin, but not the redness which I despise so much. Perfect!

Finish - It's not what i'd call dewy, it's a very curious finish for this sort of product actually. It's not matte, but it's not satin. It's got a dimension to the finish, of healthy, glowing, but not shiny skin.

Longevity - This is where it falls down, sadly, but ultimately, it's not claiming to be a big long wearing kinda guy, but it DOES wear well, i'd say five or so hours without breaking down. It says it hydrates for 24 hours, which I didn't say I felt it did, but it's a really nice feel for such a cheap product.

All in all, I really really like it. I wear make up every day but I cannot always be bothered for a proper made up look. It makes you look healthy, and even toned, without looking like you've gone to town. I can pop this on and feel confident about my skin, and look glowy and like i've had a proper sleep (which is never the case) and I am reaching for it more and more over other more expensive high end foundations or bb creams. I high recommend everyone picks this up. It's worth it.

Bourjois 123 Perfect CC Eye Cream

First up. What Bourjois say...


The skincare action of an eye cream + the colour correction of a concealer!Its multi-care formula and its smoothing silicon applicator:
Camouflages imperfections and dark circles around the eyes 
Smoothes wrinkles and fine lines Reduces puffiness..without creasing
.Its skincare action and lightweight texture leave the area around the eyes supple and soft:- 24Hr hydration- SPF 15
Result: Eyes are rested and radiant and left feeling supple and soft
Tested for you!*- It conceals dark circles and imperfections without creasing – 85% agree- It leaves the eye contour supple and soft – 94% agree

I've read mixed reviews on this guy, but personally, I love it! The coverage is great, the hydration is great, it doesn't settle in lines, and there's a plumping glow to it, and it lasts a good few hours without setting it with powder. Not really much more to say on it other than I would recommend you pick it up.

L-R CC Cream and CC Eye Cream in 31 Ivoire and 21 Ivory

You can pick these both up from ASOS for a discount price of £7.50 and £6.00. HURRY!!!!

Tuesday, 21 January 2014

REVIEW: Maybelline Superstay Better Skin Flawless Finish Foundation

Maybelline Superstay Better Skin in Light Beige

I may have mentioned it before but I am obsessed with foundation. I hate my skin, it's red and blotchy, oily and dry, pale and generally it just irritates me. Of course, in the grand scheme of things i'm lucky, I do not have acne or anything like that, but years of obsessing over media imagery has left me with this desire for the unobtainable flawless face. When I heard about the release of this new foundation, I became obsessed, as it claims that it can actually treat and even out your skintone whilst doing the normal gubbins of making you look luminous and flawless. 

So, what up Maybelline?

"Dull, blotchy, uneven skin? Visibly improves your skin every minute you're in it.

Our first hydrating foundation with Actyl C and SPF 20. Flawless all-day coverage.

The formula helps skin look more radiant, fresher and even, with all-day wear."

Oh. Cool! Lets see some swatches...

Light Beige

Light Beige swatched

Light Beige blended out

When I bought this foundation, I was desperate to love it. DESPERATE. I'm pretty poor at the moment and I am always keen to find a staple product at a budget price that does the job adequately. After having given a good two weeks of testing, I am sad to say that I am a little disappointed.

So, the pros. It's a beautiful finish, it really is. You have a luminous glow, whilst letting your skin shine through, you look healthy and even, and I cannot fault the finish, I absolutely loved it. 

But that love wasn't to last.

You see, I am oily, but not ridiculously so, so when a foundation is called 'Superstay' I expect a level of longevity from the product. My first issue is that it never actually dries down, not totally, so I had to powder it, which is fine and dandy of course, but even with powder, the stuff starts to swim around my face with oil within two hours, and it kind of mixed with powder and sank into my pores leaving a bit of an unholy, patchy mess. I also primed with a primer that is generally brilliant for my skin, Mac Natural Radiance Primer but alas, the foundation was not a friend. 

As for improving my actual skin, it's week two, and the foundation is meant to take three weeks to have an impact, so i'll keep on with my test run for another week to see how things work out on that front. 

Oh, and a note to the pale girls. The palest shade is Light Beige, not ivory. I've seen much wailing and moaning about ivory being too dark. Well, yeah, it is, so don't order it. Order the paler shade. Easy!

So in summary. Great for dry skin. Not great for oily. Unless you're only planning on looking lovely for an hour. In that case, fill your boots.

You can purchase this foundation for £8.99 from Boots and Superdrug across the UK.


Tuesday, 14 January 2014

NEW! (and desired): Lime Crime The Clueless Witch Velvetines

What else do you need to lose your SHIT over these?? Okay okay, i've been a miserable unhappy chappy and haven't done the review of the Pink Velvetine yet, even though I have had it a while. In short, I do want to say, it's not all that sadly. Just a bit dull given the lip popping promise it held.

Still, BLACK VELVET. BLACK. The only thing I have close to this is a Mac Black Mattene which is 'okay' but wears off really quickly, and travels around my face, which is bad enough with a lipstick, but MURDER when it's black. Otherwise they're two vampy offerinsgs, apparently inspired by Clueless, Coven and The Craft, which are all films of my teen years that I was embarrassed to like, but secretly did, and why the hell not?

There will be a US release in March, but no confirmed UK release. Keep your eyes on cocktail cosmetics and love make up though. They satiate our lime crime needs.

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

REVIEW: Queen Helene Mint Julep Mask

Queen Helene Mint Julep Mask

So in the efforts to keep myself distracted from my current malaise, I am back on this blog guy like a mofo. It appears a lot of people read this, despite my zero effort to be professional and polite, so, i'm carrying on. Ride with me!

So, the Mint Julep mask, this is somewhat of a cult product that I heard about a couple of years back in the midst of one of my skin obsessed melt downs. I am quite paranoid about my skin, being one of those girls who when young, was effortlessly slim, toned, and never needed to wear foundation. Then I got older, I got wider, and my skin suddenly (with the help of a hormone imbalance) went to bollocks. It's uneven, I have patches of pigment, blocked pores and mega redness. I found the cure for this misery with a combination of my two wonder Decleor products, Ylang Ylang Skin Balancing Oil, and Aroma Purete Oxygenating Mattifying Fluid - reviews HERE and this mask, above. 

Now, i'm a bit of a twat when it comes to products and price. I always believe that if something is cheap, it won't work as well as anything else, and of course, that is true of some product lines, but this mask, I honestly can't imagine finding anything more bargainous and brilliant. It's a cult, for a reason. Like many things....

A cult. Product.

Anyways, what is it? It's this.

"Mint Julep Masque is the original natural home treatment to absorb excess oil, and help minimize appearance of pores. Simply apply Mint Julep Masque to your clean face and neck. As it firms and hardens within minutes, it draws out impurities from your pores. After the masque is removed, your skin will feel clean, refreshed and smooth."

So what is my experience of it? Well, I tend to get a lot of small whiteheads, they're annoying, they are small but are surrounded by a big patch of redness and ruin the look of my make up, giving the appearance, once they're covered with foundation, of a bumpy, rough face. When suffering from this, i'll spread a generous amount of this minty, refreshing feeling mask over my face and let it dry over twenty minutes. The best bit, is you can see it working, the oil in your pores is literally SUCKED out and you can see it gathering in the pale green clay. Once time is up, grab a warm facecloth, wipe it off, and you are ready for your day/night out. 

I tend to use this before a big night out if it's going to be a long night, simply because I am a very oily girl, and if I use this before, I won't have any problem with shine or slip of foundation for the next day or two. It really is that effective. On top of this is leaves my skin cooled and much less red. Who can complain at that!?

On the downside, I would say, it's not as brilliant as Eve Lom Rescue Mask, but that retails for £35, whilst you can purchase this mask from amazon for a mere £2.79.

So if you've a spare few quid, and are oily, give this a go, it's AWESOME.