Tuesday, 21 January 2014

REVIEW: Maybelline Superstay Better Skin Flawless Finish Foundation

Maybelline Superstay Better Skin in Light Beige

I may have mentioned it before but I am obsessed with foundation. I hate my skin, it's red and blotchy, oily and dry, pale and generally it just irritates me. Of course, in the grand scheme of things i'm lucky, I do not have acne or anything like that, but years of obsessing over media imagery has left me with this desire for the unobtainable flawless face. When I heard about the release of this new foundation, I became obsessed, as it claims that it can actually treat and even out your skintone whilst doing the normal gubbins of making you look luminous and flawless. 

So, what up Maybelline?

"Dull, blotchy, uneven skin? Visibly improves your skin every minute you're in it.

Our first hydrating foundation with Actyl C and SPF 20. Flawless all-day coverage.

The formula helps skin look more radiant, fresher and even, with all-day wear."

Oh. Cool! Lets see some swatches...

Light Beige

Light Beige swatched

Light Beige blended out

When I bought this foundation, I was desperate to love it. DESPERATE. I'm pretty poor at the moment and I am always keen to find a staple product at a budget price that does the job adequately. After having given a good two weeks of testing, I am sad to say that I am a little disappointed.

So, the pros. It's a beautiful finish, it really is. You have a luminous glow, whilst letting your skin shine through, you look healthy and even, and I cannot fault the finish, I absolutely loved it. 

But that love wasn't to last.

You see, I am oily, but not ridiculously so, so when a foundation is called 'Superstay' I expect a level of longevity from the product. My first issue is that it never actually dries down, not totally, so I had to powder it, which is fine and dandy of course, but even with powder, the stuff starts to swim around my face with oil within two hours, and it kind of mixed with powder and sank into my pores leaving a bit of an unholy, patchy mess. I also primed with a primer that is generally brilliant for my skin, Mac Natural Radiance Primer but alas, the foundation was not a friend. 

As for improving my actual skin, it's week two, and the foundation is meant to take three weeks to have an impact, so i'll keep on with my test run for another week to see how things work out on that front. 

Oh, and a note to the pale girls. The palest shade is Light Beige, not ivory. I've seen much wailing and moaning about ivory being too dark. Well, yeah, it is, so don't order it. Order the paler shade. Easy!

So in summary. Great for dry skin. Not great for oily. Unless you're only planning on looking lovely for an hour. In that case, fill your boots.

You can purchase this foundation for £8.99 from Boots and Superdrug across the UK.


Tuesday, 14 January 2014

NEW! (and desired): Lime Crime The Clueless Witch Velvetines

What else do you need to lose your SHIT over these?? Okay okay, i've been a miserable unhappy chappy and haven't done the review of the Pink Velvetine yet, even though I have had it a while. In short, I do want to say, it's not all that sadly. Just a bit dull given the lip popping promise it held.

Still, BLACK VELVET. BLACK. The only thing I have close to this is a Mac Black Mattene which is 'okay' but wears off really quickly, and travels around my face, which is bad enough with a lipstick, but MURDER when it's black. Otherwise they're two vampy offerinsgs, apparently inspired by Clueless, Coven and The Craft, which are all films of my teen years that I was embarrassed to like, but secretly did, and why the hell not?

There will be a US release in March, but no confirmed UK release. Keep your eyes on cocktail cosmetics and love make up though. They satiate our lime crime needs.

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

REVIEW: Queen Helene Mint Julep Mask

Queen Helene Mint Julep Mask

So in the efforts to keep myself distracted from my current malaise, I am back on this blog guy like a mofo. It appears a lot of people read this, despite my zero effort to be professional and polite, so, i'm carrying on. Ride with me!

So, the Mint Julep mask, this is somewhat of a cult product that I heard about a couple of years back in the midst of one of my skin obsessed melt downs. I am quite paranoid about my skin, being one of those girls who when young, was effortlessly slim, toned, and never needed to wear foundation. Then I got older, I got wider, and my skin suddenly (with the help of a hormone imbalance) went to bollocks. It's uneven, I have patches of pigment, blocked pores and mega redness. I found the cure for this misery with a combination of my two wonder Decleor products, Ylang Ylang Skin Balancing Oil, and Aroma Purete Oxygenating Mattifying Fluid - reviews HERE and this mask, above. 

Now, i'm a bit of a twat when it comes to products and price. I always believe that if something is cheap, it won't work as well as anything else, and of course, that is true of some product lines, but this mask, I honestly can't imagine finding anything more bargainous and brilliant. It's a cult, for a reason. Like many things....

A cult. Product.

Anyways, what is it? It's this.

"Mint Julep Masque is the original natural home treatment to absorb excess oil, and help minimize appearance of pores. Simply apply Mint Julep Masque to your clean face and neck. As it firms and hardens within minutes, it draws out impurities from your pores. After the masque is removed, your skin will feel clean, refreshed and smooth."

So what is my experience of it? Well, I tend to get a lot of small whiteheads, they're annoying, they are small but are surrounded by a big patch of redness and ruin the look of my make up, giving the appearance, once they're covered with foundation, of a bumpy, rough face. When suffering from this, i'll spread a generous amount of this minty, refreshing feeling mask over my face and let it dry over twenty minutes. The best bit, is you can see it working, the oil in your pores is literally SUCKED out and you can see it gathering in the pale green clay. Once time is up, grab a warm facecloth, wipe it off, and you are ready for your day/night out. 

I tend to use this before a big night out if it's going to be a long night, simply because I am a very oily girl, and if I use this before, I won't have any problem with shine or slip of foundation for the next day or two. It really is that effective. On top of this is leaves my skin cooled and much less red. Who can complain at that!?

On the downside, I would say, it's not as brilliant as Eve Lom Rescue Mask, but that retails for £35, whilst you can purchase this mask from amazon for a mere £2.79.

So if you've a spare few quid, and are oily, give this a go, it's AWESOME.

Sunday, 5 January 2014

REVIEW: By Terry Crayon Khol Terrybly - Shade Royal Navy

By Terry Crayon Khol Terrybly - Shade - Royal Navy


Just giving you a heads up. This is a full on rave.

First up, let me just tell you, for my own self obsessed satisfaction and bigging up of kind ladies, about when I bought this pencil.

I had just been heartbroken in such a horrific and earth shattering life destroying way, and it was the first time, after having had a total melt down post dj'ing at Reading Festival (a uk festival where I dj'd every day ALL day) that I left the house. I was so poorly, that I only wore threadbare tracksuit bottoms, and sweatshirts, in the blistering summer heat, with unshaved legs and eyes that were surrounded by big dark purple circles, and zero make up, and my hair scraped back with big black roots. So, basically, I looked like a total tramp. I decided that perhaps, for the first time in many months, I might go into a shop and let myself buy something to cheer me up. I felt desperately insecure, down on myself, and I didn't want to go into a shop knowing i'd be sneered at. However, I sheepishly went into Space NK on South Molten St, in central london, and was treated with complete respect and not made to feel like, despite my awful appearance, that I was wasting their time or whatever else I was scared of. It was really nice.....

But anyway, back to the review. Firstly, lets have le blurb. 

"The ultimate in high-precision waterproof eye pencils for bold and glamorous eyes, to create a look that's either "demure" or "very shimmery" but always stunning. Its soft tip with excellent glide-on action defines the contour of your eyes and applies deeply intense matte and ultra-iridescent colour. Very long-lasting with excellent hold, it guarantees an exceptionally precise line that can be applied as kohl or eyeliner.
Crayon Khol Terrybly is supplied with a pencil sharpener for a permanently precise tip."

And not one word of that blurb is a lie. Lets swatch!

By Terry Crayon Khol Terrbly in Royal Navy

Royal Navy - Swatched

Now, firstly, don't be confused by the name. Navy this is not. It's cobalt, and it's vibrant. There is a big lash of purple in this guy, and it is STUNNING. It's not as shiny as the swatch would have you believe. In fact, once set, it's pretty much matte to the max. However, it is VIBRANT. It is beautiful, vibrant, and it gives you full opaque colour in one creamy swipe. It does not drag, or jump, it is smooth, easy to use and basically, the most perfect pencil I have ever ever used.

Do you want to know about smudging etc? Of course you do!

So, you apply this, and I would say it takes about twenty second to set, and once it does THAT MOTHER IS NOT MOVING A MILLIMETER! Serious blud, this eyeliner is bulletproof. It doesn't move come torrential rain, or mega eye rubbing. It just stays and stays, and get this, you can also use it on your waterline! What I find generally with these type of liners, like the YSL Waterproof ones, is that they're awesome at lining around the eyes, and they stay, but on the waterline they're a dead loss. Not this one! This applies opaquely and smoothly to the waterline in one pass, and it stays ALL DAY. You genuinely have no worries with the quality of this for the price you are paying, it is worth every penny for the colour, the texture, and the longevity.


If you want to indulge, pop to a Space NK near you and pick it up for a mere £23.00

REVIEW: Shu Uemura - The Lightbulb Fluid Foundation

Shu Uemura The Lightbulb Foundation.

WHAT UP 2014!!!!

So here I am, a mopey, but motivated mess. And this mess has a desire to share her opinions about make up. And why not? What else, ultimately, does a girl have to be happy about than the wanton purchasing of make up at will, even when they can't afford it.

So, here goes. This foundation set my heart alight when I heard the words 'glowing' and 'high coverage'. With the exception of Nars Sheer Glow, most glowing foundations do little for me in the way of coverage, and right now, my skin is a HOT MESS of blotches from months of being weepy and drinking and not sleeping well. Seriously, if you want a blog from a girl who doesn't live on air and happy dreams, I am the one to come to. My skin is showing the two bottles of wine a night, make no mistake (you can tell that I'm not hawking for sponsorship or free shit can't you? what company would sponsor these rambles?) and the sporadic sleep and no daylight. I am the antithesis of healthy living *sips fifth glass of pinot grigio*

But back to the foundation. What the hell does it do!?

This is what the guys at Shu say. 

"Shu Uemura The Lightbulb Fluid Foundation. Achieve beautiful glowing skin and high coverage with the Lightbulb fluid foundation. The buildable formula allows total application control and comfort."

So, first, do you want to see some swatches of my shade? I'm sure you do, if you're, y'know, pale, and me. 

Shu Uemura The Lightbulb Foundation Shade 584

Swatch of shade 584

Shade 584 blended

So, as you can hopefully see above, although not explicit, my wrist is a bit of a mess of redness. If you view the blended swatch, you'll see the tone is COMPLETELY even, but translucent. 

So, what is the lowdown on this stuff? Let me fill you in.


It's great. Okay, it's not doublewear by any means, but this evens your skintone, and makes it uniform completely. If have quite a lot of redness, and it was pretty much extinguished except for the raging bits, which you can pop minimal concealer on and it'll vanish in no time. 


When first applied, this foundation will appear vaguely matte, but once its sunk in over an hour, it'll have a beautiful translucent glow. You'll look like you've been running through summer meadows. 

Lasting power:

This is the slight downside. it lasts, but not as long as someone like I would wish. I would imagine this would do you for a working day, with touch ups at the sixth hour, but for me, I need it to last 12 hours as least, and by that time it was pretty oily, but not in a patchy way, just an all over thinning and exposure of your redness. However, during this entire time, you never look 'made up', you look naturally glowing and healthy, and your tone will still look pretty even. For a glowing foundation, this is a good thing certainly. I would recommend a good primer and powder, and you'll get a lot longer out of this. 

So what do I think?  I think it's ruddy cracking! I honestly would recommend this heavily if you love a healthy, glowing complexion that doesn't look like a greasy mess. 

Final opinion. I recommend! You can get hold of this direct from Shu Uemura for £36, or, like I did, on one of those REALLY drunken free champagne for EVERYONE nights at Harvey Nichols. Phew, thats a night I have no recollection of, other than the limitless drinks....